The ladder that goes sideways
When an engineer asks about becoming a manager, I'm never quite sure which question they're really asking. Usually it isn't about management.
“Should I become a manager?”
Feels like a yes/no question. But now I think it’s like a fortune cookie. The thing inside the cookie isn’t quite what you expect from the cookie.
“Should I become a manager?” - when a senior engineer asks me that, I think they’re really asking something else. “How can I grow here?” “How can I have a say in things on my desk?” “How can I make more money?” All good stuff. And none of it is really “I want to spend Thursday afternoon telling someone they’re not doing good enough work.”
But managers can compound the problem, too. We like to compliment people saying “You’d make a great manager” because we think “good judgment”, “able to explain things.” To the engineer, it sounds like there’s an arrow on the wall that points upwards, toward the stairs.
Let’s put aside all the parts of management people seem to enjoy. The mentoring. The interviewing. The setting technical vision. Engineers can do all that without any direct reports. So what’s left in the pile? The stuff of the job. Performance conversations. Comp. Saying no to things your team wants. Taking the heat for a shitty week. A public park, your calendar. Some people love that. But you can’t tell from the outside. It’s like trying to decide if you like scuba diving by looking at pictures of fish.
I like this exercise: get someone to tell me what a week looks like for them. Hour by hour. Some people talk about a week of system design and pairing with juniors. And they slowly start to realize “hey, that’s a staff engineer”. Some people talk about a week of one-on-ones, and planning, and a tough discussion on Friday. And they seem to find it kinda cool.
Not sure what to do with the latter group except let them in.